…At The Grindstones

{August 6, 2010}   How to Be Alone

{July 27, 2010}   Precious Illusions

“A basic precept of intimate communication is that each person owns( his/)her own feelings. No one “makes” me feel jealous, or insecure- the person who makes me feel that way is me. This belief is not as easy as it sounds. When I feel rotten, it can be hard to accept the responsibility for how I feel: wouldn’t this be easier if it were your fault? Then maybe you could fix it, and if you can’t, well then maybe I can go ballistic and vent a little steam, burning you up in the process.

The problem is that when I blame you for how I feel, I disempower myself to accept myself and work towards feeling better. If this is your fault, you must be in control, right? So I can’t do anything but sit here and moan.

On the other hand, when I own my own feelings, I have lots of choices. I can tell you how I feel, I can choose whether or not I want to act on these feelings (no more “the devil made me do it!”), I can learn to understand myself better, I can comfort myself, or ask you to comfort me. Owning your feelings is basic to understanding the boundaries of where I end and you begin, the perfect first step towards self-acceptance and self love.”

The Ethical Slut pp. 65-66

“Do not go to bed fearing tomorrow,
For when day breaks how will tomorrow be?
Man knows not what tomorrow will be!
God is success, While man is failure.

The words which men say pass on one side,
The things which God does pass on another side.
Do not say “I am without fault”, Nor try to seek out trouble.
Fault is the business of God
It is sealed with his finger.

There is no success in the hand of God
Nor is there failure before Him
If one turns himself to seek out success,
In a moment He destroys him.

Be strong in your heart, make your mind firm,
Do not steer with your tongue;
The tongue of a man is the steering or of a boat,
But the Lord of All is it’s pilot.”

Ch. 18, The Instructions of Amenemope

While I don’t believe that man has zero control over his own experience in the world, I do like this one for several reasons. “The Egyptians” often in their literature will encourage strength of heart and following your heart…  I do believe that sometimes our faults are thrust upon us without our knowledge based on our situations and upbringing, and by overcoming certain fears we can open ourselves up and stand on top of these faults- acknowledging them is a first step to having power over them and therefore more control of your own self. Not that I am saying that you shouldn’t enjoy getting carried away from time to time….

If you want, you can “Course In Miracles” this post and replace “God” with “Love”, which of course makes this a battle between emotion and logic/science, rational and irrational… the joys of our own political ? successes I guess I’ll call them, and the joy and destruction of the storm of love and passion that tears us away from them, for a day, month, year… a lifetime.

I guess that’s why people who are struggling because they have made their passion the focus of their life, are the most successful in the long run because they get to feel both as a personal success? Maybe that’s taking it too far, since I’ve seen many an artist who is not honest with themselves, and who will not surrender…

We have to change and grow, be trampled, rebirth, sprout, reach, fail, pine for, cry for- to really make the most of this life. I don’t know why I want it, but I want it, and must have it, I can’t explain away that burning feeling in the chest that pushes and drives us  through or after a failure or a success… kind of an amazing feeling that makes be happy to be a part of this human experience just this once…Not sure if I worded it in a way that translates but….just something to think about for today,


A follow up to the “Sentimental” blog, enjoy 🙂


et cetera